(The very last photo she took with her closest grandchildren)
Awhile ago I was still happily watching youtube; now sobbing a little. I suddenly recalled my late poh poh, the time when I last saw her in the hospital a week before she passed away. Knowing that was the last I'll see her while she's alive. Tears just rolling down, I really missed her.
I'm ok though, just a sudden mood swing that makes me feel sad for awhile. Every now and then when few of us (cousins) talk about her, we still feel as if she's still here...cant believe is almost 5mths she has left us.
I had a dream last night which I was traveling with few others and lost them half way through, later i found myself reached this mountain place. According to the local, it is a very popular tourist attraction. I was panic at that time trying to locate where my friends were & didnt really pay much attention what that uncle was saying after that.
As soon as I've done making out call, i raised my head & saw this beautiful mountain with wide spiral stairway going all the way up. It was surrounded by shining blue ray with clouds; there's no ending of the stairway. There were huge crowd of people going up & down. I stood there for some time trying to figure out where will the stairway leads to but I was afraid to walk up. I managed to take a pic of it & left.
When I found my friends & was about to show them the photo, I woke up from the dream...I googled it & found the nearest picture to what I saw in dream yet there's no direct interpretation of this phenomena. can anyone tell me what's the meaning of this??? I'm keen to know.
Many of us have started serious training for upcoming Standard Chartered KL Marathon, that's includes me. This is my attempt in 21km category, kind of nervous whenever I think of it. I had bets with two friends on completing the race within the time given, this motivates even more to train harder.
I've been training since early April in gym & at the park. From running only during the weekends to 4-5times a week..I feel good though with my stamina building up gradually & gotten quality sleep after the exercise. (haha...technically fell asleep before i finish checking emails every nights). Another extra credit i gotten is that i've lost several Kgs! yoohoo!!
Apart from these +ve side i gain, i worry bout me over doing it too. Coz i felt exhausted sometimes during the day. haha...it may be those lazy bugs in me that start complaining now. ;p I'm doing my best not to think about it & have my balance in food intake to continue exercise.
Well, hopefully few weeks from now i'll manage to do my personal best & win the bets. Best of all to see the physical change in me. Stay tune! ;p
Fr Simon sermons have always been my favorite on many occasions apart from Fr OC Lim that always has his care for political issues & justice. It is simply because Fr Simon has good sense of humour and simplicity in words to make me understand what's God teaching is all about.
This morning, again he gave a very nice sermon about doubt, cynicism & Faith. He took slightly longer time than his usual, but I was ok because it was an interesting topic to ponder on.
This is what he had said: “Doubt is when we have uncertainty. But don’t quote me wrong, it doesn’t mean is a bad thing; simply because it is through serious doubt that will lead us to Faith.” (Paused) Then he continued: “It is through doubt that we tend to search for an answer.” Fr Simon took the example from today’s gospel about Thomas doesn’t believe it was Jesus until he saw the nail marks in His hand. It was because Thomas doubt and seek, he found Faith.
Fr Simon continued: “But then again, there are people who are paranoid in thoughts. This is what known as cynicism. It is cynicism that says there’s nothing great to seek for an answer and when this happened, we will never find Faith.”
“Have anyone of you watch Youtube & followed the show called British Got Talent???” (Cool heh?? Fr Simon’s really update on what’s on entertainment TV & internet…haha) He continued: “If you could remember, it was the latest episode where there was a contestant – Susan Boyle. When she told the judges & the audience that she wanted to be a professional singer, she was being judged badly before she could open her mouth to sing.” “After Susan sang, she totally blew everyone away with her amazing voice.”
And then again, Fr explained: “I’m not trying to tell how good Susan voice is, but rather showing an example about being a cynicism/ a paranoid of putting the first impression in mind judging & conclude something before seeking.”
I can’t remember how Fr Simon ended the sermon but these few sentences really carved deeply in my head that kept me pondering until now. It was a good one; at least it was to me. I nearly ask for a copy of his sermon for today…haha.
PS: I didn’t exactly follow British Got Talent but I later search for the part with Susan Boyle. Oh my! She really gifted with her beautiful voice. (Don’t judge the book by the cover! It has proven true & through!!!)
I've started recruiting new student (beginner) for piano lesson. Please contact me at 012-6917908 if u or your kids are interested,k. Area covered : PJ & certain part of KL.
Sleepless nites...tick tock tickie tock, as the time goes...the clock struck 1 then 2 then...goes on. Brain cells are restless i guess..ended up praying. Only I know why.
I'll be going to SFX from Thursday till Easter Sunday, anyone keen to join? U are most welcome. ;) It is often during this time of the year will have heavy downpour, do drive safely.
Life is full of big & small point of focus. It could be God, love, family, money, power, health & all sort of things that we believed & holding onto. In school, the exam is the point of focus to motivates us to know more. In Church, God is the point of focus to christian. In a birthday party, the birthday boy/girl will the focus of that night. Even for a dancer, he/she will have a point to focus so that one may not fall.
Ironic to know, some of these points of focus may not turn out right. A robber's point of focus to rob is wrong merely desperate of getting food on the table for the family. A teenage mum abort her baby just because her irresponsible of having one night stand.
As for me, just as I'm slowly gaining back my self respect & confident after 4mths unemployed; another point of focus I've been holding on for nearly a decade may soon slip away. Fear, anxious & worst thought slowly accumulated like thousands of butterflies oozing inside my stomach. I never know the impact..yet.
Funny isn't it? never ending tests, pains, suffering & endurance that God keep throwing to us while He was trying to mould us to become better person. Is just that how far or how fast u can keep up with His speed while trying to avoid all the temptations on the evil side. Of course along the way, we pick up pieces of happiness & carry in our hearts like memories that will takes us even further in life. In the end of the day, have your point of focus succeeded or failed that's matter most.
Holy Friday is just a week away. Jesus died for us on that day & never give up on us. I guess I should not simply surrender until the judgement day comes. Have a blessed Easter to those celebrating ya!
(The very last photo she took with her closest grandchildren)
