家 （Home)

家，在哪?

有人说，能让心在累时可休息的地方。。那就是家。

也听过另一个想法，当所有爱你与你爱的人都在。。那就是家。

或许，样样俱备且能遮风挡雨的屋。。那就是家。

我家，在哪？

与婆婆共度几千个日子的地方。。它是我家。
爸妈把我生下时。。也给了我家。
努力赚钱买了人生第一间屋。。是我打造给自己的家。

未来的家，在哪?

或许与老头子陪伴到老的地方。。会是我家。
很可能子孙满堂，和乐融融在一起。。是我想望的家。

家

人还在，心还在。。家无所不在。
路还长， 指望可以找到让我落叶归根的地方。。成为永恒的家。

琪 （二零一五年一月二十日，晴@ 伦敦）

Why? Why? Why?

I was with my mum having dinner at a restaurant the other day. A little girl next to our table caught our attention when she started asking (in mandarin): "why this is spicy? Why do u need plate? Why? Why? Why?"

Mum and I laughed because this little one so adorable. ;) As usual, me being me...jokingly asked mum: "was I that annoying when I was young? What did I ask?? How about sis?"

Mum answer amused me..."ur sis asked tonnes of questions...just like the little gal." She continued: " you only asked about music stuff...who sang this song? When can I get a piano. I want my piano" "Is hard to keep ur sister quiet when tired of answering her questions...for u, easy...just turn on the music and sesame streets...u will sit quietly whole day"

Haha....thanks to the little gal. I found out things which I did when I was a lot more younger. ;)

How about yours?

我， 不好爱

我， 不好爱。
外像开心果的我， 内心不容易燃烧爱的火花。
然而，要是我爱上就会像个死心眼的小花痴。

我，曾爱过。
爱错，伤过。
但，我仍然相信“爱” 无所不在。

我，还想爱。
未来的他，要懂我。
以前的你，谢谢你让我更懂我自己。

我，不怕爱。
若没有最爱，
我会把爱献给需要关爱的人。

我，不好爱。
我不随便说“我爱你”
若我说了，别怀疑我的真心。

2014年的我 （笔）

N3xt Year (2013)

Lovely Diary received during Christmas

Well...21st December 2012 has passed (safely)...lol. Time to trash out those rubbish collected in 2012 and plan for 2013.

What's my plan? Work harder, aim for more money, family, looking for a husband (hahaha...ok, i'm serious), involve more in charity and travelling. That's all i can think off for now.

God has been taking care of me quite well in 2012. Most stuffs I've listed in my wish list achieved some how and I'm feeling good about it. ^_^ Nonetheless, there are bad times as well. Felt betrayed and back stabbed at some point, but i guess that's part of the learning process to be a better person through suffering. Being forgive and forget makes one happier isnt it? lol.

The phil choir did the christmas song "Christmas is the best time of the year"..i totally agree about it. As we are entering 2013, I'm having quality time with some (but not all) of my best friends and family who are back from overseas. Those still out there...hope to see u all soon.

Happy new year ppl !! Those who have planned...pray that you achieve in many ways. For those who are uncertain, hope the road gets clearer as you walk further.

As written in one of the book i've read, "Trust the Universe. Trust and believe and have faith. Take the first step in faith, trust the two hundred feet infront of you and the following road will keep unfold to you."

Cheers and signing off from 2012!!

我认真了

想要个伴，开始行动。在原地跑够久了。释放吧！

一个人到今有点累了。我可以的。

Recollection of my journey with The Phil Family towards MM4

"Doe a deer, A female deer...Ray...A drop of golden sun..." "Thank you for the music, a songs i'm singing...."

It kept reciting in my mind over and over again for the past one hour...more precisely, ever since the very day I know that "The Phil" is going to perform in MM4.

It has been a great journey throughout the past 3months for me of having to know a group of people all ages with so much passion on singing....Not just about singing, but rather to sing together as a community, a family and reaching out to do more in charity.

Yes, charity...something i've pledge to do most this year. (But i guess i'll skip this part) ;p

How should I start this...hmmm....When I stepped into the rehearsal room for the first time, this group of people were total strangers to me. All I know is that they were there to sing. Cecilia was the first who came to me. We had a small chat which has given me a little sense of belonging. Lol!

Then Vyonne joined. Oh! Finally, I feel more comfortable having someone I know of in the rehearsal with me. Should I say unfortunately? haha...we ended up sitting directly opposite to each other in the rehearsal room.

Week after week, I befriended more. Every rehearsal just like a family reunion, when we were not singing, we all became chatty pots.(Really salute Cheryl great patience sometimes.. ;p) Here are some of the people I'm more familiar with.

Vyonne - A good friend for a year now. We knew each other from a group of gym friends when we started visiting orphanage & old folks homes.

Kelly Chen - my partner (not in crime of course!). We clicked to each other almost immediately. If one is observance enough will know we both glued together all the time.

Swee Chin & Morina - Practically twins. Both make me smile and laugh whenever they are around.

Poh Lin & Callista - haha...I got to know their names by heart after an embarrassing incident.

One find evening I walked straight to Callista with total confident and said : "Hi, I wrote u an email last night about the invites. Do you remember?"

Callista looked blank at me :" You sure you looking for me?? "

opppss..Me :" You are not Poh Lin oh?"

Vivien & Mey Hoon - Being the newbies, we shared the same excitement in how we found "The Phil".

There are many more to write but is getting too long on this post. In short, many I've know them by names and there are still I can only remember by face. MM4 has just ended, is not the end but is the beginning of another great journey ahead.

The entire week before the show was awesome. Is kinda nice to rest my feet at home, but I can't wait to get up again to do more rehearsal soon with you guys. ^_^ Is a blessing from God that I found "The Phil" and get to do what I love most, to sing.

                               (some of the girls in Soprano)

Updates - Part 1

I've not been writing much this year...ha! too many things happened too fast. New Year, Chinese New Year, my birthday, resignation, The Phil Society Singing & more.

Yup, I joined Phil...I've been wanting to do this for very long time but wasnt able to find the right channel and get myself into singing group. With God Grace...I found Phil last October via FB. Ha! I didn't manage to join last season and it was near misses from the orientation. Then, 2nd chance came when they announced again via FB page they recruiting for 2012.

If someone ask : "what so special bout it?". Well...dono. I think is more like when I'm near to music, there's where my heart belongs. This is my 5th wk with them, the experience just simply amazing. People from walks of life, diff religions, races & ages come together just to share their voices. 4parts, sometimes 5...These people just embrace the gift from God..."Music".

Ha! Pretty much of talking here...I dono how long i will sustain at one place (knowing myself likes to move around & do different stuff ;p) But i guess i shouldnt start thinking when is the end. I have it now, I should enjoy it. This is a good chance to know myself better...music or construction? ;p

to be continue........

2012 Pledge

My 2012 Pledge...spend more time on charity work & be selfless.

Under Utilised

Last year about this time, my close fren & I counted the number of post v have in Blogspot...but this year.. i think my blog is totally under utilised or i would say less productive...That doesnt mean i've not done much though.

I did quite a bit here & there on travelling....most of the time spent at work. Explored some possibilities for next year & eagerly moving forward to see new things ahead.

I guess that pretty much summarized my 2011.God is great, good friends still stood up for me in most things I believed in. Oya! Groupon...thanks! It makes quite a number of splendid occasions with my family & frens.

2012...Please come...I'm Ready! ^_^

Steps Slideshow

Steps Slideshow Slideshow: TripAdvisor™ TripWow ★ Steps Slideshow Slideshow ★ to Oxford, Japan and Hat Yai. Stunning free travel slideshows on TripAdvisor

Hmm....has been awhile

It has been awhile for me to log into blogger....I struggled quite a bit on the settings when i was trying to add in new link on my page. jeeeeeeeeezzzzz....my usage in blogger really rusting. Piak!

Taiwan

I dreamt of myself in Taiwan again for the 4th Time....is that a sign????? lol.

Giant Flip Flop

Yesterday evening, i drove home & dragged myself back to my unit. I fell asleep on the sofa immediately I got home...and then...started dreaming. (ha!)

I was walking by a row of street where the smell of fresh baked bread from the nearby Gourmet filled the air. Just as when i was enjoying myself with the relaxing & beautiful weather, a big bulldog came chasing after me. I ran, ironically my pair of sport shoes turned into a Giant flip flop. I couldnt control but tumbled and fell flat on the road with one hand on cow dung.

The bell from the church infront of me rang...I got up & realised it was just a dream. I started laughing coz I was on the floor next to the sofa.

For the First Time

For the first time, today I told my boss : "Pls dont raise your voice, it will not help us solve the problem. It will demotivates us & difficult for me to continue support you on the work."

Ironically, he lowered down his voice & listen instead of yelling infront us. First time, I felt that I've EQ & put in good use. ;p

Quantity Surveyor

When I first gotten the job in Gamuda, I roughly understand what a Quantity Surveyor should be studying and work; but I wasn't sure I'll like it for a life time career..at that point of time i was desperate getting the sponsorship as my parents were not able to support my studies.

Well if u asked me now...what is QS nature of work?? haha...just make thing simple to understand, a QS is mix breed between an Engineer, an Accountant and a Contract officer. Funny? haha...is true.

Often ppl asked, so what u working as?? i jokingly answered : "Leong Dei Kun". There's a Cantonese direct translation for this "measuring the floor", basically means doing nothing..hah! Not for my case though...is the total opposite of that, I measures everything from below ground to the very top of the structure. A nail, one piece of brick to tonnes of steel.

Well...to be honest, have i regretted taking this as a profession? Some part of me yes. If only I get to do the course i wanted to when i finished SPM. If only I don't have to be so tired everyday when i gets home from work and many more "if only"... ;p

But looking back on the years I've spent working as QS, never deny there are times i felt the satisfaction too. The time when i gets good incentive from early completion of the project and the acknowledgment of my experience from others.

Nway, cut the crap..this coming April mark the 15th year of me working in this industry. Waoh, I sounds old... I could have getting my 15yrs service awards this year if I'm still in Gamuda...hahaha..I'm kinda curious will there be another 15years down the road for me doing the same thing, or is there a chance out there for me to change my path...Looking forward to it.

Dealing at work

Alden once told me, "to do PHD research, a person requires to believe in ONE thing throughout 3yrs"...I guess its a journey testing a person patient, persistence and believe. I'm bringing this up is not because i'm planning for one...but somehow it relates to what i'm facing now.

I've been assigned to a project dealing with Korean company since last September (no offense, i'm not saying I dislike Koreans). The physical completion of the project will be ending next month but i'm still struggle getting back the money from them.

Reason?? TONNES OF IT!!!
Each time I attends a meeting for finalising dollars & cents, they will come out with new excuses or accusing us claiming them unnecessarily. Often they used harsh words and swearing with our "mother" especially when they have the status and look down on female character. To make the situation worse, they manipulate from time to time on documents, words, letters & agreements given to us. It does pissed me off....coz its indirectly thrown all my preparation & efforts down the drain...exaggerate further.....DEEP SEA.

There are times I felt helpless. Questions like "am i capable??" "am i confident what i've done??" "how do bosses think of me?? despite many meetings i've attended yet result is not there..." "how long more can i hold on to it?"

Well, i'm not going to sound pathetic here....but i sort of figured out one thing lately, is either i successfully get through it or let go of it and i dont achieve anything at all. I just have to hang on a little while and find solution to it.

Perhaps a little pat on my shoulder as a sign of encouragement?? A bonus as reward?? A 2wks holiday which was promised by my boss after i settle with the Koreans?? Personal satisfaction maybe?? I guess this will keep me going until the end of process.

Enough of babbling...tired..G'nite.

Patient, Persistent and Believe.

Mother Mary???

10:20am - working infront of my office desk....i smell strong rose essense. did a quick check around my place, none spraying perfume....hmm...Mother Mary dropped by to say hello??

^_^

....So what will you do with your tin??

As i unwrapped the Quality Street chocolate, i saw the bottom of the tin says : "....So what will you do with your tin??? " (followed by...visit www.qualitystreet.co.uk for more great ideas)

haha...i was thinking, y not check it out...hmm...interesting to see how to recycle from the outer tin until the very bit of the inner wrapper...(haha...minus the chocolate which will melt inside the mouth)

check this link : It even tells a little story about the chocolate packaging revolution (should i use this word?? appropriate???) from glass jar to tin.

A simple catchy line on the packaging & a web link on some ideas....i think it sure gives some plus point if the m'sian F&B packaging does the same to promote & help the environment... ^_^

At this very moment

Just as i'm sitting infront of my office desk working....i'm missing s'one.

hmmmmmm......

Interesting People

Its always makes office a fun place when you have colleagues from different countries. Ppl share their experiences, their backgrounds & believes whenever there's a time for tea.

I've two quite buddy Iranian friend in the office, both occasionally shared their stories during days back in Iran. Just like yesterday, we were talking bout war during lunch. Two of them looks a bit disturbed during the conversation. Apparently, two of them witnessed war when they were young.

This is what they recalled...

Friend A : "u know, their used to be a army airport behind my primary school. It was Iraq & Iran war.. one day during the class, the airport was bombed. The glass window of the classroom just shattered & out of sudden everything was in a mess." "best part, the teacher ran away without checking our safety. I've to rush out from school & ran home myself. It was scary..."

Friend B : "My dad used to be in army force, most of the time we have to seperate from him & worry bout his safety until we moved to Teran. It was a tough time, my mum has to take care of me & my two younger brothers. Everytime the siren sound, she will drag us into the underground tunnel to hide. sometimes 20mins, sometimes even longer" "I've seen dead ppl lying infront of me, it was sad."

I've seen documentary about war, heard my popo & elderly ppl talking bout war during the 40's. It takes a lot of courage to talk about it & often see the sadness in their eyes....Same goes to these two friends of mine...I guess this is something we cant imagine how difficult it was for them to let things behind & move forwards. That makes them more humble & treasure what they have now.

Perhaps we dont need to witness war like what they have seen & learn how to be humble, but through these ppl we should learn how to love and honor of what God has given to us.