My thoughts

It is weird that one would think that you are fake when u treat them slightly better.

I travelled in a bus with a couple arguing last night. The conversation was loud and clear for everyone to listen. Apparently the girl in depression treatment, everything the guy said and done annoyed her so much till she slap him. She shouted: "you not real, you bitch".

 What caught my attention was the guy...I admired his patient despite the girl created such a scene in public. He repeatedly told her : "all I want is be with you and make sure you are ok."

I get that sometimes when people think I've overly friendly and helpful. I got feedback thinking I'm pleasing people unnecessarily, any motive behind??....but then again, what stop us from being friendly and helpful?

Sometimes I get frustrated too when I've been judge of being fake, but I don't like to explain. I don't think much when I treat one well especially those I love and care..I just do it. Ironically, some of those closest are those think of me this way.

Is sad to see how little faith and trust people have between each other in today's world. But I trust in time and God will show us way to become better. Sorry mates please don't think I've motive, nothing change. I like to do things and go all out for u guys with one simple thing in mind...Love.

Happy New Year 2016.

家 （Home)

家，在哪?

有人说，能让心在累时可休息的地方。。那就是家。

也听过另一个想法，当所有爱你与你爱的人都在。。那就是家。

或许，样样俱备且能遮风挡雨的屋。。那就是家。

我家，在哪？

与婆婆共度几千个日子的地方。。它是我家。
爸妈把我生下时。。也给了我家。
努力赚钱买了人生第一间屋。。是我打造给自己的家。

未来的家，在哪?

或许与老头子陪伴到老的地方。。会是我家。
很可能子孙满堂，和乐融融在一起。。是我想望的家。

家

人还在，心还在。。家无所不在。
路还长， 指望可以找到让我落叶归根的地方。。成为永恒的家。

琪 （二零一五年一月二十日，晴@ 伦敦）

Why? Why? Why?

I was with my mum having dinner at a restaurant the other day. A little girl next to our table caught our attention when she started asking (in mandarin): "why this is spicy? Why do u need plate? Why? Why? Why?"

Mum and I laughed because this little one so adorable. ;) As usual, me being me...jokingly asked mum: "was I that annoying when I was young? What did I ask?? How about sis?"

Mum answer amused me..."ur sis asked tonnes of questions...just like the little gal." She continued: " you only asked about music stuff...who sang this song? When can I get a piano. I want my piano" "Is hard to keep ur sister quiet when tired of answering her questions...for u, easy...just turn on the music and sesame streets...u will sit quietly whole day"

Haha....thanks to the little gal. I found out things which I did when I was a lot more younger. ;)

How about yours?

我， 不好爱

我， 不好爱。
外像开心果的我， 内心不容易燃烧爱的火花。
然而，要是我爱上就会像个死心眼的小花痴。

我，曾爱过。
爱错，伤过。
但，我仍然相信“爱” 无所不在。

我，还想爱。
未来的他，要懂我。
以前的你，谢谢你让我更懂我自己。

我，不怕爱。
若没有最爱，
我会把爱献给需要关爱的人。

我，不好爱。
我不随便说“我爱你”
若我说了，别怀疑我的真心。

2014年的我 （笔）

N3xt Year (2013)

Lovely Diary received during Christmas

Well...21st December 2012 has passed (safely)...lol. Time to trash out those rubbish collected in 2012 and plan for 2013.

What's my plan? Work harder, aim for more money, family, looking for a husband (hahaha...ok, i'm serious), involve more in charity and travelling. That's all i can think off for now.

God has been taking care of me quite well in 2012. Most stuffs I've listed in my wish list achieved some how and I'm feeling good about it. ^_^ Nonetheless, there are bad times as well. Felt betrayed and back stabbed at some point, but i guess that's part of the learning process to be a better person through suffering. Being forgive and forget makes one happier isnt it? lol.

The phil choir did the christmas song "Christmas is the best time of the year"..i totally agree about it. As we are entering 2013, I'm having quality time with some (but not all) of my best friends and family who are back from overseas. Those still out there...hope to see u all soon.

Happy new year ppl !! Those who have planned...pray that you achieve in many ways. For those who are uncertain, hope the road gets clearer as you walk further.

As written in one of the book i've read, "Trust the Universe. Trust and believe and have faith. Take the first step in faith, trust the two hundred feet infront of you and the following road will keep unfold to you."

Cheers and signing off from 2012!!

我认真了

想要个伴，开始行动。在原地跑够久了。释放吧！

一个人到今有点累了。我可以的。

Recollection of my journey with The Phil Family towards MM4

"Doe a deer, A female deer...Ray...A drop of golden sun..." "Thank you for the music, a songs i'm singing...."

It kept reciting in my mind over and over again for the past one hour...more precisely, ever since the very day I know that "The Phil" is going to perform in MM4.

It has been a great journey throughout the past 3months for me of having to know a group of people all ages with so much passion on singing....Not just about singing, but rather to sing together as a community, a family and reaching out to do more in charity.

Yes, charity...something i've pledge to do most this year. (But i guess i'll skip this part) ;p

How should I start this...hmmm....When I stepped into the rehearsal room for the first time, this group of people were total strangers to me. All I know is that they were there to sing. Cecilia was the first who came to me. We had a small chat which has given me a little sense of belonging. Lol!

Then Vyonne joined. Oh! Finally, I feel more comfortable having someone I know of in the rehearsal with me. Should I say unfortunately? haha...we ended up sitting directly opposite to each other in the rehearsal room.

Week after week, I befriended more. Every rehearsal just like a family reunion, when we were not singing, we all became chatty pots.(Really salute Cheryl great patience sometimes.. ;p) Here are some of the people I'm more familiar with.

Vyonne - A good friend for a year now. We knew each other from a group of gym friends when we started visiting orphanage & old folks homes.

Kelly Chen - my partner (not in crime of course!). We clicked to each other almost immediately. If one is observance enough will know we both glued together all the time.

Swee Chin & Morina - Practically twins. Both make me smile and laugh whenever they are around.

Poh Lin & Callista - haha...I got to know their names by heart after an embarrassing incident.

One find evening I walked straight to Callista with total confident and said : "Hi, I wrote u an email last night about the invites. Do you remember?"

Callista looked blank at me :" You sure you looking for me?? "

opppss..Me :" You are not Poh Lin oh?"

Vivien & Mey Hoon - Being the newbies, we shared the same excitement in how we found "The Phil".

There are many more to write but is getting too long on this post. In short, many I've know them by names and there are still I can only remember by face. MM4 has just ended, is not the end but is the beginning of another great journey ahead.

The entire week before the show was awesome. Is kinda nice to rest my feet at home, but I can't wait to get up again to do more rehearsal soon with you guys. ^_^ Is a blessing from God that I found "The Phil" and get to do what I love most, to sing.

                               (some of the girls in Soprano)